The Three Main Messages

Use this exercise to further brainstorm about who is responsible for the violence, and how to start talking about safety. Discuss the three main messages with the group. One way to share the messages effectively
is to use a puppet, as demonstrated in this video by Tracy Myers.

1. Violence is not your fault.
   It is never the fault of children and youth if they feel unsafe when experiencing domestic violence.
   Ask the class: Who is responsible for violence?
2. You are not alone.
   Discuss with the class: children and youth often feel along with there is fighting at home, and the violence may be scary. Explain that part of the reason the VIP Program is here today is to emphasize that they are not alone and to talk about safety.
3. There are people who can help.
   Discuss with the class: Who are the safe adults in their lives? What is the safe thing to do when there is domestic violence? Brainstorm safe options, such as contacting a safe adult.

Have the class repeat the three main messages with you and explain that you are now going to spend a few minutes brainstorming about how to stay safe.

With grades 4-6 students, we can explain that sometimes we may be around other children who are not being safe. You can ask what this might look like in the classroom, on the playground or in the neighbourhood.

“One thing we will create today is a safety plan. Safety plans can help us remember what to do if we find ourselves in a situation at home or at school where we do not feel safe.”

Grounding Exercise

Assess the energy in the room. You may need to do a grounding exercise to help children be present and focused during the presentation.

See Appendix A for the tip sheet on grounding exercises.

Activity: Defining Violence and Abuse

With grades 4-6 students, it can be nice to start this conversation by asking the class what they think violence and abuse are before sharing your definition. You could make a list on the board that the class’s idea and then share the definition below.

Definition: Violence or abuse is when we use our body or words to control and hurt someone.

Brainstorm with the class: How do you think children and youth who experience violence or abuse feel? How may they respond? What do you think children and youth who experience violence understand?

Expand the brainstorm: Include behaviours that can be characterized as bullying. How do you think children and youth who experience bullying feel? How do they respond? What do you think children and youth who experience bullying understand?

Activity – Safety Planning Group Brainstorm

This activity helps students compile a list of things that they can do to keep themselves safe in potentially dangerous or abusive situations. You may choose to include online safety as a part of this conversation if that suits the classroom you are presenting in.

Questions you might ask youth are:

• What is safety? (physical, emotional, mental, social, sexual)
• What are some ways you know that you are not safe?
• What are the cues your body gives you when you don’t feel safe?
• What are some things you already do to stay safe?

Make a list on the board or a flip chart of all the suggestions from the class. This activity is a great opportunity for children to think about their safety, to discuss what they are already doing to keep themselves safe, and to brainstorm as a class new ways to stay safe.

As a part of a safety planning conversation, you could include the questions, how do we stay safe online? What are some strategies you think are important to keep yourself safe online? Why is this important? What are the signs that something that is happening online is not safe? Acknowledge that different children and families will have different boundaries around how and when they are online. In addition, even if parents don’t enforce boundaries, it can be good for kids to be aware that the internet is not always a safe place.

It is important to share with children and youth that safety planning is an ongoing thing. We may feel safe most of the time, but it is important to understand the ways we can recognize when we don’t feel safe and have a plan to stay safe.

Activity – Safety Planning Worksheet

Hand out the Safety Planning Worksheets or use a blank sheet of paper to students. Let them know they can write the names, draw places and draw faces of people in their world who they can talk to if they have a problem. Ask them how they can get in touch with their safe adult.

You can also look around the room and identify the classroom teacher, support staff, school counsellors, administrator’s etc. as potential safe people.

You may also introduce the idea of 911 here. If kids identify they have no one they can talk to, you can encourage them to put 911 on their plan.

An age-appropriate description of the Kids Help Phone can also be useful here. Kids Kids Help Phone is Canada’s only national 24-hour, bilingual and anonymous phone counselling, web counselling and referral service for children and youth. You can reach a counsellor by calling 1-800-668-6868 or texting the number 686868. You may wish to write these numbers on the board or flip chart paper for students or provide it to the school staff if they do not have the phone number.

Activity – Who Is in My Circle

Hand out the Who is in My Circle worksheet to the students and ask them to think about who is in their circle? Who do they go to for support? Who do they ask if they need help? Ask the students to write down the names of these people in their circle.

Closing

Consider running another grounding exercise if necessary. Please refer to Appendix A for sample grounding exercises.

Recap the three main messages with the class.

Ask – Can anyone remember any of our three messages?

Thank them for being a wonderful class. Please let the students know what information you will be sending home with them such as, VIP post cards, VIP wallet cards, agency brochure, PEACE Program brochure, and any other additional resources. This may vary for each VIP site.