DAY 2: HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

Length of Session: 45 – 60 minutes

Introductions

Take a few minutes to remind the class who you are, where you are from and why you are in the classroom.

• Acknowledge the traditional territory you are on.
• Lead the class to remember what the VIP class “agreement” or “guidelines” from Day 1 are to help make the classroom a safe space for VIP work. Review the previous list together on the board, or flip chart and add to it if necessary. Post the list so it is visible throughout the presentation.
• Let the class know what to expect and remind them about how many times you will be returning, if there are more presentations at a future date. Remind students where your contact information is and encourage students to reach out after class if that feels relevant for them for any reason whatsoever.
• Discuss any additional housekeeping matters, such as: one person speaking at a time, raising hands for questions and comments, self-care.
• These topics can be upsetting to think about or discuss. Remind the students to take care of themselves. You can ask the teacher beforehand as to what is appropriate in terms of self-care in the school setting, such as stepping outside of classroom for a few minutes or going to the bathroom or visiting the school counsellor. Remind the class that you will be available after every session if anyone needs support or has questions. This includes wanting support because you know someone else is having this experience.

Dialogue to Introduce the Presentation

“Today we are going to begin by reviewing the anonymous questions from the last presentation. Following that, we will talk about healthy relationships. Healthy relationships may be different for everyone, however, they have some common elements. Today we are going to discuss qualities and elements that make up
healthy relationships, and why they are important.”

Answer anonymous questions from previous presentation

For this section of the presentation to run smoothly, take time between presentations to review the comments and questions students asked at the end of the previous presentation. VIP presenters may consider gathering a few classes worth of comments and questions to make a list of themes that seem relevant at a particular school. Acknowledge with the class that you are not an expert, but rather you are facilitating a conversation about topics that are sometimes hard to talk about.

Before beginning, thank the class for their contributions to the anonymous questions and comments that were shared at the end of the previous presentation. Ensure that they know you are addressing themes shared and that you are grateful for the time they took to ask such real and relevant questions.

Often this section of the presentation can take 10-15 minutes as students bring up meaningful questions and engage in dialogue. You can finish this section by letting students know that you are available after class if any of their questions do not feel resolved and if they need more specific support on a particular topic.

Activity – Brainstorm Healthy Relationships

Encourage the students to think about a close relationship in their life that is NOT romantic, such as parents, siblings and friends. Ask the class to think about attributes or qualities that are important to these relationships. Some examples are: “how do you treat your parents, your siblings and friends and how do you want to be treated by them?” “What is a quality of this relationship that you like? What is one thing that you do or say in this relationship that feels healthy?”

Conduct a group brainstorm with the class and write their ideas down on the board or a flipchart and remind students that there is no wrong answer, consider requesting to hear from everyone with the option for students to pass if they wish not to contribute. This can help engage and make space to hear from everyone in the class and gather more diverse ideas.

Emphasize that the qualities they listed are all important in all relationships.

Some ideas that may emerge:

• Mutual Respect
• Love
• Trust
• Open and honest communication (you may ask youth, what does good communication mean?)
• Boundaries

Activity – Listening Exercise in Partners

Ask students to find a partner. Each partner gets one minute to talk and one minute to listen. Pick a simple topic that is easy to share about such as: “what are you going to do after school?” or “what type of food do you like to eat?”

Be clear that the job of the listener is to simply listen.

After everyone has had an opportunity to be in both roles, ask students to reflect on the exercise.

Things that they may notice:

• Some of us are better at talking than listening.
• Some of us have a hard time finding words.
• Communication is hard and sometimes awkward. Like any skill, it requires practice.
• It helps to feel patience, support and a smile from the person we are communicating with. Body language, pacing and tone of voice influence how we communicate.

Watch & Discuss Videos

• My Health. (February 22, 2017). What Teens Think About: Relationships
  My Health Youth advisory board candidly discusses what they think is important in a healthy relationship
• 12 Early Sign that a Relationship Won’t Last

While watching the videos, encourage students to think about the list of qualities that are important in all healthy relationships from the brainstorming activity.

Small Group Discussion

Divide the class into small groups and ask them to discuss and answer the questions below.

• Are there any themes from the video that we can add to our list of qualities of a healthy relationship?
• What is difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship?
• What does it mean to have open and honest communication?

Ask the class to come back together. Have each group relay their answer to one of the questions to the class. You may have them answer by randomly selecting students, popcorn style, asking them to raise their hands or by identifying a group spokesperson.
Emphasize the importance of asking what we do and do not want in a relationship as it is important to know what you value in a relationship, and what the other person values. Remind the class that personal boundaries are helpful as they help to define the elements of a healthy relationship.

During the discussion, emphasize that it is important to know, trust and love yourself in order to allow yourself to be in a healthy relationship. You may choose to ask students about the things they do to be in a good relationship with themselves. For example, you can ask them: “what are some activities that help you take care of you?”

As a facilitator, once the class has shared their list of things they want and do not want in a healthy relationship, you may choose to add a few of your own ideas. Additionally, you may want to expand on some of the ideas the class brought up through questions and conversations.

Watch a Video (Optional)

Depending on how long the previous parts of the presentation take, these videos may have to be left out or used in a later session.

• Kids Explain Relationships
  
  This video shows that the ways we think about relationships is very individual and that relationships will mean different things to different people.
• WellCast. (December 12, 2012). How to Break Up
  
  This video gives teens tools to communicate how to end a relationship in a respectful way.

Closing

Thank them for being a wonderful class. Let the class know that even though a topic like healthy relationships may seem straight forward, violent relationships are common and it is important to take the time to reflect on what is needed to be safe in a relationship.

Please let the students know your contact information and what information you will be sending home with them, such as VIP post cards, VIP wallet cards, agency brochure, PEACE Program brochure, and any other additional resources. This may vary for each VIP site.

If you are returning for another presentation, let the class know when you will be back and remind them to stay and ask any questions or concerns that may have arisen during the presentation.