Toolkit Background
We use technology daily to connect with friends and family, post photos and videos, or even to find out more information about health issues, current events or what’s happening in our community. Increasingly, teens are reporting that violence and abuse from current and ex dating partners is happening through text messages, social media and the distribution of nude or semi-nude images without consent. This is called “digital dating violence.”
Digital Dating Violence means physical, sexual, or psychological/emotional violence that occurs between dating partners by texting, social media, and related online mediums. This term is also known as technology-facilitated gender-based violence.
You may not know that digital dating violence is happening to you or to someone you know. Actually it’s OK that you don’t know, but it is NOT OK that it’s happening. This toolkit includes resources from various credible sources from organizations helping teens identify if digital dating violence is happening to them and provides information, tips and ideas for what to do and what kind of help is available.
Word of Caution: If you are reading this Toolkit on an “unsafe” computer, laptop or device, do not download the PDF versions as they may automatically save in your download folder. Some documents will download automatically when you click on the hyperlink in these documents and save a copy on your device. An “unsafe” device could be one that you suspect is being monitored by the abuser.
SECTION 1: WHAT IS TEEN DIGITAL DATING VIOLENCE?
- What is Teen Dating Violence?
- What is Teen Digital Dating Violence?
- Teen Dating Violence Spectrum – love is respect.org
- Healthy vs Unhealthy Relationships – Need Help Now.ca
- Love vs Control – Need Help Now.ca
- Boundaries – Need Help Now.ca
SECTION 2: TYPES OF DIGITAL DATING VIOLENCE
This section provides helpful information to teens about the most common forms of digital dating violence including: harassment; threats; location tracking; texting and sexting; distribution of nude or semi-nude photos; online luring and sexual exploitation and resources that can help.
Harassment
- VIDEO: When Does Caring Become Controlling? – That’s Not Cool.com
- Help! My Ex Is Harassing Me Online
- My Partner is Harassing Me through My Cell Phone – HACKBLOSSOM.org
- My Partner is Harassing Me through Social Media – HACKBLOSSOM.org
- Dealing with Harassing Calls, Texts and Messages
Threats
Location tracking
- My Partner is Stalking my Location – HACK*BLOSSOM.org
Texting and sexting
- What is Sexting? – Kids Help Phone.ca
- Staying Safe While Sexting – Kids Help Phone.ca
- Sexting and Consent – Kids Help Phone.ca
- Sexting, Privacy and the Law – Kids Help Phone.ca
Distribution of Nude or Semi Nude Photos
- What to do If Someone Has Shared or Threatened to Share Your Intimate Image?
- Is there a Sexual Image of You Online and You Don’t Know What to do? – Cybertip.ca
- What is Sextortion? – Cybertip.ca
- Steps to Remove Nude or Semi Nude Photos or Videos from the Internet – Need Help Now.ca
- Helping a Friend – Need Help Now.ca
- Intimate Image Deletion Form – The White Hatter.ca
- No It’s Rude to Ask for nudes – The White Hatter.ca
- Unsolicited Image Tool – The White Hatter.ca
Online Luring and Sexual Exploitation
- VIDEO: Stop Sextortion – Thorn
- What is Online Sexual Exploitation? – Kids Help Phone.ca
- Trauma and Youth Who Have Experienced Violence –Need Help Now.ca
- Helping a Friend from Online Exploitation – Kids Help Phone.ca
SECTION 3: STAYING SAFE ONLINE
No matter what you’re experiencing in your relationships, we want you to be able to continue to use technology in the safest way possible. Here are some resources to help you navigate online spaces.
- Online Dating Safety Tips – Kids Help Phone.ca
- Social Networking Safety for Teens
- Online Gaming Privacy Risks and Strategies
- Recognizing and Responding to Online Hate – Kids Help Phone.ca
- My Partner Has Unwanted Access to My Accounts – HACKBLOSSOM.org
- How to Protect My Privacy Online -– Kids Help Phone.ca
- DIY Cybersecurity for Domestic Violence – HACKBLOSSOM.org
SECTION 4: SAFETY PLANNING:
Often, the most dangerous time for someone is when they are planning on leaving a violent relationship. The resources in this section provide teens with information to strategically use technology in ways that can enhance their safety by creating a safety plan. A safety plan can not only help you strategically think through the steps needed to leave your relationship but also help to take back some control if you are being stalked, monitored, or abused through a perpetrator’s misuse of technology.
- Using Tech Safely in Dating Relationships
- Tech Safety Planning Check List
- Planification De La Sécurité Technologique Liste De Contrôle
- Creating at Tech Safety Plan for Teens – Kids Help Phone.ca
- Creating a Technology Safety Plan – HACK*BLOSSOM.org
SECTION 5: LEGAL REMEDIES
The information sheets provided here are designed to help better understand the legal information about your experiences of Teen Digital Dating Violence. The resources here provide general legal information. Legal advice or representation must come from a lawyer who can advise you whether you should do something in a lawsuit or whether you should take certain actions in a court matter.
- Is That Legal? – West Coast Leaf.org
- Did you know in Canada it’s Illegal to? – Need Help Now.ca
- Info about Peace Bonds and Youth in BC
- Preserving Evidence of Teen Digital Dating Violence
- Legal Options to Digital Dating Violence
- Private Use Exception Rule for Sharing of Intimate Images
SECTION 6: GETTING HELP
You are Not Alone. If you or someone you know is experiencing any type of violence in your relationship, there are many people who can help. You may be feeling a variety of different emotions from sadness, anger, shame, embarrassment, or fear about getting in trouble but know you are not alone. Finding support early on will very likely result in you feeling less alone. Reach out to a friend, family or a safe adult. A safe adult can be a teacher, a coach or even parents of a good friend.
- The Importance of Seeking Support – Need Help Now.ca
- How to Identify a Safe Adult – Kids Help Phone.ca
- Helping a Friend – Kids Help Phone.ca
- VIDEO: Violence at Home Signal for Help – Canadian Women’s Foundation
Here are some organizations where you can seek support:
- PEACE Program for Children and Youth is counselling program for children and youth experiencing violence.
- Kid Help Phone’s crisis line is available 24/7 by call or text
- KUU-US Crisis Line Society is a crisis phone line for Indigenous Youth
- The Foundry has a detailed list of crisis and chat lines listed here.
- VictimLink BC is a referral and information service for victims of crime
- Society for Children and Youth BC’s Child and Youth Legal Centre provides legal support for children and youth.
SECTION 7: ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
This section provides additional resources that may be helpful for teen’s experiences of Digital Dating Violence.